Tag Archives: English

Vorfreude

Who knew?

English has words for all kinds of emotions I never knew existed.

Sometimes you just can’t know until it’s happened to you.

 

Vorfreude, to me is:

If you’ve ever had a quarter or mid-life crisis you know your brain can tell you to do strange things.

Like quit your job and leave the country.

 

Let me explain.

It started with the election.

No, really.

I was — pretty mad (I am still mad, for the record). What the actual hell America?

 

Being a completely irrational human being I decided to only way to combat my anger was to leave.

Actually leave the country.

(I tend to run from my problems)

 

So on a whim I applied for some jobs overseas.

Well — one of those jobs overseas panned out.

 

In January, just over a month from my 28th birthday — I interviewed for a job in Japan.

And reader,

just a week shy of my 28th birthday,

I accepted the job.

 

A nervous, anxious, excited ball of energy I resigned from my teaching job.

A job I really wanted to love, but couldn’t.

A job I really could’ve loved, but was ruined for me by things out of my control.

This was February.

 

Since February I have been anxiously preparing my language skills, eating techniques, mannerisms.

Since February I have anxiously waited for details on my arrival.

 

Still — I wait.

With every ring and ding, my heart skips a beat.

Wondering if this might be the call.

The e-mail.

The one that tells me when and where.

 

I wait, ever more anxiously,

wondering when I’ll leave my home, friends, and beloved dogs.

 

If you’ve ever done something crazy like decided to move halfway around the world,

you too know the feeling.

 

It is indescribable.

Alas….I still wait.

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Slow and steady (wins the race)

I know what you’re probably thinking:

“Did you give up on your resolution already, Chelsea? You haven’t posted in a few days.”

Well the answer is — no, I didn’t. In fact, quite the opposite.

I decided to take my creative outlet to the NEXT LEVEL (insert booming explosion noise here).

But really though — over winter break I did a ton of research on how to become a freelance writer (I love you guys that faithfully read my blog, but getting paid is sweet). As many of you know, one of my biggest complaints of my current line of work is that the paycheck is so small —- so small. Well, just like most teachers, I needed to find a side hustle, and a side hustle that wasn’t going to require me losing massive amounts of sleep.

Enter my attempt at freelancing. I figured, I like to write, I can do it from home on my own schedule, and I can completely control the projects I take (or don’t), and I make some extra cash in addition to building my professional writing experience.

So, thanks to a lot of digging through Google and reading a lot of blogs, I found a site called Upwork. Now, don’t expect to jump on here and be making Kardashian level money or anything — it’s not like that, and they take 20% of your earnings, and some clients will take another 20%….and well, you can do the math. Definitely not going to replace my full-time job, BUT; I’m building legit writing experience, earning a little extra on the side

AND IT’S THE PERFECT REASON TO WRITE EVERY DAY!

For me, it’s a win-win.

You can check out my first *REAL* published article here!

Resolutions, Part 2

I have a bit of a personal ritual around the New Year. Not only do I celebrate my 8th anniversary of marriage to my husband on the 30th, but the new year also symbolizes a time to stop and reflect on the year I’ve had and the goals I want for the future.

I can say, without a doubt, that 2016 has been a steaming dump of a year. There were a few highlights, undoubtedly, like the weddings of a couple of my best friends, an awesomely extravagant vacation, and adulting successfully by doing something called buying a car. And while all these events are wonderful, it cannot overshadow the festering, stinking dumpster fire this year has been since the beginning.

Four more days, friends. Four more. But what, oh what, does 2017 hold?

That, readers, is questionable. If, like me, you have harbored extreme resentment and a little bitterness since the election, you, like me, are probably approaching the new year with apprehension. Uncertainty. Even disappointment.

Trust me, reader, I sympathize.

And that brings me to my resolution for 2017. I only have one this year, but I think it’s going to be important if I ever want to leave this rut and keep moving forward.

My 2017 resolution is simply this: To stop being afraid and live the life I want for myself.

I know you’re probably like, c’mon Chels, that’s so vague and idealistic. You can’t accomplish that. You can’t measure that.

None of that really matters to me.

What matters to me is the world seems to be falling apart at the seams, and if I let it, it will drag me down with it.

I refuse to let that happen.

I refuse to be afraid of circumstances out of my control.

I refuse to stay stuck out of comfort and fear of change.

I refuse to sit for another miserable year and end up the same unsatisfied human I seem to always be reflecting on the past year, and moving into a new one.

Attempting to find a job in Japan has given me renewed desire and perspective. A goal to work toward. Something I have wanted for a very long time but have been too fearful to pursue. Will it happen soon? Maybe. Will it happen under the circumstances in which I want it? Doubtful. Will it solve all of my woes? Certainly not.

But will it happen? Most definitely.

It can’t be any worse than sitting and waiting for change to come to me.

I’m so tired of waiting.

 

And so, I face 2017 with little fear and increased optimism.

 

2017 just better be ready for me.

Pros and Cons

My questionable saga with moving to Japan continues. And you better believe I have a lot of questions. So much of me wants to jump all in and go for it; so much of me wants to walk away because it’s crazy and I know it’s crazy.

To make a quick summary of what’s happened — I got called for an in-person interview in Chicago in January. Yeah, JANUARY. That’s like, really soon. Trust me — I share your concern. I already agreed to go, but by agreeing to go means I’m agreeing to a potential offer of a job. Am I really ready to commit to moving to Japan next year? Your guess is as good as mine.

There is a large part of my that really wants this. More than I’ve ever really wanted anything, actually. I’ve always wanted to leave the country — what a fantastic opportunity to do not only that but also continue doing something I love doing (teaching). Get a job overseas and get a free reset button on my life? Tempting.

But then a large part of me is really scared. I’m pretty much guaranteed a work visa if I get an offer, so other than getting a passport my entry to Japan is pretty much a done deal. But what about my husband — will it be easy for him to get a spouse visa? Will I have to go without him at first (yikes)? What about my dogs? How feasible is it really to move three of them to a possibly tiny apartment in a whole new country? What will it cost me to feed them? Take them to the vet? What will I do with my house and my car? All the stuff in my house? Because I certainly won’t be taking much of that with me to the other side of the world.

So, yeah, there’s a lot of questions. A lot of feelings. And a lot of uncertainty.

 

 

Please click here if you’d like to donate to my gofundme to help me on my mission to successfully uproot and replant in Japan. Any amount is appreciated.