To my husband

I am not an average person’s cup of tea.

Most people can’t handle me, and that’s fine.

I don’t really care what they think anyway.

 

I am a diamond in the rough at best,

and a piece of shit at worst.

Most people like stability.

Not two ends of the extreme.

 

I struggled a lot.

being comfortable with myself,

before I met you.

I didn’t think I’d be able to find someone who could understand my soul.

And the stormy sea that rages inside it.

 

I had friends.

I had family.

Yet, I felt misunderstood.

I felt odd.

And I was.

(I still am, for the record).

 

I remember when we first started hanging out you didn’t treat me any differently than you did your other friends.

You approached me with no agenda — something that was rare for teenage boys.

You took the time to be friends with me first.

 

Once we fell in love, though,

There was no going back.

old jc

It wasn’t always easy.

We didn’t always like each other.

But we persevered.

 

And even when we really wanted to,

we didn’t walk away from each other.

 

We got married young and everyone said we were crazy.

I was 19, and you were barely 23.

They said there was no way we’d make it.

We’d be divorced in a few years.

 

But they didn’t know that no one gets me like you do.

No one else perpetually forgives me.

No one else makes me feel safe to really be myself.

No one else believes in me the way you do.

 

There are so few men in the world who could love a woman like me.

Headstrong (extremely)

Mouthy

Argumentative

Selfish

Independent

Reckless

Flighty

 

But somehow none of those things deterred you.

Somehow you took my worst traits and made me feel…..

Less shitty about them.

 

You let me be headstrong (extremely)

You’re okay with me being mouthy

Argumentative

Selfish

Independent

Reckless

And flighty

 

You’re letting me uproot our entire lives and replant halfway around the world

In a totally new place

With a totally new culture

 

And you’re still supportive. Excited even.

 

We’ve been together a long time now.

But I find our love doesn’t fade.

If anything it gets better as time goes on.

lt wedding 2

I try to relish small moments in my life and I find my favorites are:

Lying tangled up in bed on weekend mornings

Sharing coffee and conversation with you

Laughing at stupid internet content

Listening to you talk about things you love

 

See, they all have to do with you.

I’ve come to accept that my life couldn’t be the same without you.

I wouldn’t be me without you.

 

But what’s most beautiful about us is that we don’t need each other.

We want each other.
And there’s a difference.

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